Buy Me!
by JordanBu
Summary: AU-Every year, Dante is forced to take part in a teacher auction for seniors at Rowland High School. This year, he has a plan to get out of it but will it go horribly wrong or lead to something right? Pairing: DantexNero yaoi. Don't like, don't read pleas
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1: If you can't stay awake for Government, then you should try Math, it's not that bad…

Hello there! This is a DantexNero story so if you don't like yaoi or the pairing, please leave. Disclaimer: I don't own Dante, Nero, or the rest of the DMC characters. They belong to Capcom! Now please enjoy!

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"Are you kidding me?! I have to do this crap again?!"

Dante Speis aka "Mr. Speis of American Government," crumbled up the blue paper in his hand. At Rowland High School, the senior class had a special event where they could bid on teachers and they take the students out to dinner or theme parks or whatever kids did these days (that is appropriate, mind you). While the students' money goes to the school, the teachers are the ones who pay for the event and usually the cost was higher than the students' bids.

Dante was forced to take part in this event every year due to his lack of participation in other events that were less humiliating and of no cost. Honestly, after six years of teaching at the school, you'd think he'd learn by now. The threat was, as always, he would have to be the teacher sponsoring the freshmen orientation and no teacher in their right mind was going to waste their time or be caught DEAD doing that. He always chose the auction. The good thing was, he was always the one who racked in the most money, meaning that he was the most popular teacher (hey, bragging rights weren't bad at all). The bad thing was, it was always the female student body that wins and always the risk of getting the title "sex offender" forced on him.

But this year, Mr. Speis had a plan!

--

"All right you punks, scram. Trish, Mary, I need to speak to you both for a moment."

While the rest of the class disappeared and some girls lingered a little longer than they should, Trish, the valedictorian, and Mary aka "Lady," walked over to the head of the classroom. Lady gave a glare at the door and the other girls fluttered away. Dante racked a hand through his silvery white hair, thanking whatever God existed for girls he could actually trust that would not try to get in his pants (and ALSO thank that they are lesbians).

"Oy, Mr. Speis, are you doing the auction this year?" Mary asked, her mismatched eyes seemed to smirk knowingly.

"Oh ha ha, Mary, I forgot to laugh. Listen, I want you both to do something for me: since you two are seniors, I want you to bid on me…" Dante gave his trademark grin with a thumbs up, "…and win!"

For some reason, Trish threw her blonde head back and started laughing. He couldn't see how this was funny. This was a serious matter where he may lose VERY IMPORTANT things (ex: his JOB!) to a bunch of high school girls with uncontrollable hormones. When the blue eyed beauty calmed down, she spoke breathlessly, "Are how are we suppose to do that? Money is tight for seniors like us, you know. We can't afford to spend on teachers with obnoxious personalities."

Dante sometimes wondered Why he became a teacher. Kids were a completely pain in the-

"Okay, we'll do it!" Trish and Mary piped up.

-never mind.

"However…." Mary said in a sing song voice with her index finger raised, "you owe us dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, a trip to the salon WITH manicures and pedicures, AND…tickets to Coachella for next month!"

…scratch that. He's going to become a free lance mercenary and the first people he would kill would be the girls.

--

"Teacher auction? Kids buying teachers? Sounds perverted. Not interested."

"But Nero, you would really help the school raise money," Kyrie (Ms. Windill), the well known biology teacher of the underclassmen, explained, "In just a few months, the kids here have taken a great liking to you."

Nero Lanstor, the new teacher on the block in the math department, was only twenty-four when he received his teaching degree. Now at twenty-five (and a half), he earned the respect of the tough AP Calculus teachers and frighteningly, the admiration of both math loving nerds and struggling C grade students (girls and the occasional guys, of course). Even though the recognition was awesome, it got to the point of annoyance and fear for his virginity…

Hey, being a math genius did NOT get him laid in college like they show in the movies (note that college life was not an "exciting" experience for Nero and it was full of dedicated math geniuses like himself) His teaching career also took out whatever social life Mr. Lanstor had so….yeah:

Bending over to look at a student's work quickly was a dangerous…VERY dangerous move. Especially when you have a perverted seventeen year old ready to pounce on your ass at any given moment.

"…yeah, a great liking," the young man said deadpanned. He and Kyrie had the same conference period and became friends immediately. The pretty brunette was one of the few female instructors who did not try to pick him up, next to the happily married ones or the old non-cougars that have sons as old as himself. Nero sipped his coffee, charging up his nerves for the next class period. He took off his spectacles and rubbed his blue eyes irritatingly. "I'll think about it, is that okay?"

"Thank you, Nero," Kyrie said gleefully as her whole face seemed to light up at his response. He placed his glasses back on and smiled genuinely in return, feeling his stress skip away…

"Where the hell did all the coffee go?!"

…and then it came back at the speed of light. The stress hit him hard like how a nun hit's a Catholic school student with a yardstick. Sigh, those were the days…

Nero looked over to see (not surprisingly) Dante, the other man with the same colored hair and eyes as himself. Although spiders socialize with pigs and warthogs hang with meerkats, Dante and Nero were anything BUT friends. The government teacher treated Nero just like a high school student. He actually gave the younger man detention the first time he came to the school due to wandering around the halls during class time without a pass. It wasn't Nero's fault he was lost and is young looking for his age. School security had to hold them down before they could kill each other that day.

"How the hell did I end up in the same conference period as _him?"_ Nero mumbled to himself as he drank more coffee.

The famous government teacher must have good hearing because the moment Dante heard Nero take a sip, he rushed over to Nero's table and swiped the coffee out of the math teacher's hand.

"Hey! That's mine!" Nero growled.

"Hmm…" Dante playfully examined the cup closely. "Don't see your name on it. Besides, kids like you don't need coffee. It's bad for you."

"Screw you, old man!" It was pretty embarrassing. Nero was trying to grab the cup but Dante, being taller, raised it up above the math teacher's reach. A bystander would see this as a classic bully-holding-the-scrawny-kid's-lunch-out-of-his-reach scene.

"Mr. Speis, stop it! This isn't how a teacher should behave!" Ms. Windill cried as she tried calming Mr. Lanstor down at the same time.

"This guy's been nothing but Hell for me the moment I came to this damn school!" the younger of the blue eyed men hissed as he miserably continued to jump for his precious coffee. Dante grinned down at Nero and was strangely enjoying the torturing. Usually Dante wasn't a jerk like this but he needed the coffee. He guessed that Mr. Lanstor got an F in sharing during his grade school days.

"You know, if you just share this, we wouldn't be fighting. It's your fault you got the last cup of coffee."

"You didn't ask, you damn thief! Plus, _too damn BAD!"_

"Oh blah blah, you're just a selfish punk!"

"And you're just an asshole!"

Dante didn't know Nero was violent enough to launch himself at him. He didn't know Ms. Windill scream as him and Nero tumbled to the ground. He didn't know the coffee cup flew out of his hand and its contents spilled on Mr. Luibagel, the oldest English teacher of the school.

But there was one thing that Dante did know…Nero's lips were firmly pressed against his as well as his well built form (Dante could feel all the hard curves through the clothes) was matched closely, if not perfectly, to Dante's own strong physique. In reflex, Dante slipped his tongue between Nero's lips, tasting the sweet caffeine that lingered. It took about five seconds for the two men to pull away and before long, the other teachers in the break room became the students. Gossip spread like the coffee on Mr. Luibagel fancy white collared shirt.

--

Hate it? Like it? Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all that have reviewed this story! I really enjoyed reading your comments and I'm going to answer a question of Dhuaine which is, "is this based on real life?" Why yes, it is! :) You see, I had a teacher auction just some weeks ago. The one who got the most money the first day of the auction was a substitute teacher. All these girls were like "WHOO!!" and I sadly only had that sub for one time so I barely knew him. I bid along with a friend of mine for him (who knew the sub better) and we lost to these girls who bought him for 200 bucks!! I am (and still is) DMC obsessed so I thought: "Hey, why not make a fanfiction? So..."Buy me!" was born!! So here's chapter two! Please enjoy!

Plus: Vergil will come into the story. Soon! Just for a little bit but that's better than nothing right? :P

Disclaimer: I don't own the Devil May Cry characters. Capcom does!

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Buy Me! Ch. 2: …but you can't have your Math without your side of English…

Dante expected his popularity to have dropped like the temperature in winter time but to his surprise, it only got hotter. 28 percent of the male student body (they confined with him) was either gay, bi, or confused. 73 percent of the female student body (to his complete horror) was turned on by the thought of himself and Mr. Lanstor having wild and rowdy sex in the janitor's closet. 95 percent of the janitors at Rowland (he couldn't believe for Christ's sake) were occasionally giving him the evil eye. As he was trying to forget the traumatic event of three days ago, his third period would not stop with the questions. For example:

"Did you ever know that you were gay, Mr. Speis?"

"Mr. Speis, is the reason you annoy Mr. Lanstor so much is because you have an undying love for him?"

"Mr. Speis, I believe you should just admit it now. Isn't that why you hit on all the women teachers? To cover it up? It's okay, sir, we are accepting, right class?"

That was just the jist of it. When he caught two girls passing notes, he forced the sender to come up to the front of the classroom. She was one of the quiet ones, very smart but not at all out there.

She timidly read, with her face completely flushed, "Who do you think is the one on top? Mr. Speis or Mr. Lanstor?"

The silver haired man regretted not just snatching the note away and giving the brat detention for the rest of the year. The whole class couldn't stop laughing so he had to discontinue teaching for the remaining seven minutes of the period. It wasn't unexpected that Trish and Mary were the ones literally rolling on the ground, holding on to their stomachs to keep them from bursting. Oh how Dante wanted their stomachs to burst so that he would be rid of them and this crap. In the next period it was his conference time and then, the dreadful teacher auction. He prayed to his father and mother, wherever they were, that he would be able to live through this with his dignity still intact.

--

If there was one thing that Nero hated, it was sniggering. Usually he had the paranoid thought of the trigonometry class or anybody, as a matter of fact, laughing at him when he heard sniggering. This time he knew he wasn't crazy.

"Now, if you take this and plug it in the equation.."

Snigger.

"…you get two parts of the problem that seems very hard…"

Snigger, snigger.

"…but it's actually easy to do it…"

Snigger, snigger, snigger.

"…when you just-_okay that's it! WHAT THE HELL IS SO DAMN FUNNY?!"_

Nero had always been patient and calm when it came to doing math since the subject took time to fully comprehend. His class, however, had never seen him get angry so now that he is, they fell into a dead silence. He eyed every student and huffed. Honestly, if looks could kill…

"Yes…Joshua?" Nero drew out the two words impatiently. The boy had his hand up with the look of innocence. He honestly had no intention of doing harm.

"Er…do I call you Mr. Speis or Mrs. Speis now, Mr. Lanstor?"

….The boy honestly had NO intention of doing harm but Nero couldn't help it, taking this as an offense. Out of subconscious anger and suppressed bullied memories, he slammed his right fist into the chalkboard, creating a one hundred and fifty dollar hole that was coming out of his paycheck.

Oh how he needed coffee and a sword to stab the American Government teacher with so freaking bad.

--

Dante was really fast when he wanted to be. He got his coffee, got the heck out of the break room as fast as he could before he ran into the "copycat" (as Dante would call Nero behind his back), and hid himself in his own classroom. He could have sworn he heard an echo of curses but he brushed it off as his imagination going wild and needing the warm stimulant in his cup. Before he could take a sip, he found himself eye to eye with Nero.

Dante could have also sworn the younger man's blue eyes were turning red.

Nope! Just his imagination again.

"You…took…the…last…amounts…of…coffee…" Nero drew out the words deadly. He threw his hands on the desk and made it tremble slightly. Dante gave him a 'whatever' look and resumed trying to drink.

He found himself jumping around and shouting curses due to the heat of the caffeine on his chest. Nero was smirking devilishly at his simple move of pushing the cup to spill the coffee on his senior. Then, right on schedule, they were tumbling on the ground, trying to rip each other's throats out.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kid?!"

"YOU! You're what's wrong with me!!"

"Pfft, as if, you're just putting all your damn problems on me!"

"Yeah, you know why? Because you're my damn problem! AND I'M NOT A KID! I'M

TWENTY FIVE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!" No matter how many fights Nero got into or how many hours he had put into the gym, he was no match for Dante's strength. The older man pinned him down and had his arms above his head. His left leg was holding onto Nero's waist as his right was keeping him steady. Nero growled harshly as it was Dante's turn to smirk. His icy blue eyes stared down at Nero's through his lens.

"You know, you may be twenty five and all but you sure act like the kids I teach in here," Dante replied sarcastically as the man under him glared.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??"

Both of the men snapped out of their stare down and looked to the door that was forgotten to be shut. Standing there was Mr. Luibagel and…the entire staff of Rowland High School. Nero looked at his current state down to where he couldn't see his legs and Dante found his leg still wrapped around Nero's waist with his hands pinning the other's wrists down as though he was about to….

Oh.

Shoot.

Not again…

--

"It's time for the teacher auction, kids! Now remember, if you don't pay in full by tomorrow, then you won't be able to claim your teacher!"

Nero couldn't recall events like this when he was in high school. There were the multicultural food days and club rushes here and there but nothing as humiliating and against his own will as this one. The Principal was very scary when he could be and Nero believed that he way scarier than Nero himself.

He saw all the seniors sitting in the bleachers on different sides of the big gym. Some were actually participating, shouting numbers that Nero never would have imagined having in his own wallet when he was a teenager. The rest of the seniors were busy chatting or looking bored out of their minds. He nervously fiddled with his glasses, straightening them every few seconds (25th time now). Dante yawned sleepily next to him, yanking at the collar of his shirt that the school had given him as a replacement for his coffee soaked one. Nero noticed out of the corner of his eye some of the senior girls smiling and staring. They were all looking directly at the Government teacher. The shirt that was the replacement was one size smaller than the teacher wanted and showed off the defined lines of his muscular form.

"Heh, like what you see, kid?" Dante asked devilishly, catching Nero's attention.

Nero mouthed the words 'f you' and Dante's grin just got wider.

"Still mad about it, eh?"

"…."

"Well, it won't help if you are since ol' Principal Randoff paired us together as a 'two-for-one special like for a D grade Chinese take out place," he said lamely, scratching at the scuffle on his chin. "Might as well get through this dumb thing before he threatens again to make us work for three months without pay and with Luibagel's lawsuit for the shirt."

Nero heard his name and Dante's be called and for the 26th time he straightened his glasses. The gym erupted in squeals and loving sighs that made him almost want to make a run for the door. Damn those hall monitor punks for standing guard at the door! Dante began to wave smugly, trying to find some amusement in all this.

"Okay, remember, this isn't a date, ladies!" Principal Randoff's voice boomed into the microphone. The excitement and cheers got loud along with him. "Okay, we're starting at 20 dollars-"

"30!" Trish yelled.

"Aah! 45!" A short girl shouted over.

"50!" Mary yelled next.

Nero was shocked. In just a couple of minutes, the bid went over two hundred dollars! Dante seemed to be calm about this while the bid kept getting higher. The other male teachers were grumbling under their breaths and sending nasty looks over the math teacher's way. Dante noticed the glares and gave one of his own, sending the other men to look away.

"320!"

"325!" Trish shouted in determination. Dante seemed to smirk wider. Him and Lanstor were going to get out of this. He looked over to the younger man and leaned close to his ear, whispering, "Hey, kid."

Nero almost jumped out of his clothes went he felt Dante's breath in his ear. His blue eyes glowed dangerously but Dante put up his hands in defense and continued to whisper, "Hey, calm down, fire cracker. See the brunette and blonde over there? They're gonna buy us so we won't have to deal with this crap. You should be thanking me instead of wanting to bite my head off, you know."

"…." was Nero's response.

"Whoa! 325!" Randoff exclaimed. "Is anyone going to beat that-"

"…one _thousand dollars!"_

The whole gym fell silent as they all looked over to see who said the price. The girl stood up from her seat and smiled chesire cat like. She flipped her wavy blonde hair back as the girls around her, most likely her friends, were clapping elegantly.

"Ahem, in cash!" Patty brought out a suitcase that was hidden under her pink back pack and opened it to flash the crisp green bills. Everyone in the whole gym either gasped or jaw dropped. Trish's jaw was so wide that it looked like it could touch the floor while Mary's mismatched eyes practically bulged out of their sockets to the size of baseballs.

"_No friggin' way_!" Dante shouted in disbelief, breaking the silence and soon the gym vibrated the sounds of disappointment, cries, and cheers. Nero could feel his legs giving out from under him. A thousand dollars…? Where the hell do these kids get this much money?!

"SOOOOLLLLLDDDDDD!!" Randoff hollered loudly, almost breaking the sound system. "This will go down in _Rowland High School HISTORY_!! Come down and sign you name to claim Mr. Lanstor and Mr. Speis, Miss….!"

"Miss Patty Lowell!" She chirped loudly and seemed to skip over the people while going down the bleachers like stepping stones.

She laughed pleasantly as she made her way over to Principal Randoff and signed off the deal on the role sheet. Right then and there, she handed over the briefcase full of money. At the same time, Patty gave a wink to Dante and Nero who both looked like they had just laid ostrich sized eggs.

--

Patty Lowell is a Devil May Cry character. Watch the anime please, it's that little girl! Oh and thanks for helping me correct her last name! I thought it was Royal lolz.

Love it? Hate it? Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for your reviews once again! I'm sorry this chapter's short but please enjoy it! For all you Vergil fans, he's making a small appearance here so go "Yay!"

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Buy Me! Ch. 3: …you could always use a bit of Physical Education to work it up…

"WHAT THE HELL! YOU GUYS SAID YOU WOULD WIN!"

"Hey, we tried our best but little Miss spoiled brat bought you for a thousand dollars!" Mary exclaimed. Dante and Nero didn't stay for the rest of the auctioning that freed them and the seniors of doing any work for the rest of the day. Dante had to go punish his students while Nero mumbled that he was going to hide under his desk or something of the sort and left. "You have to be damn crazy to go that high, Mr. Speis!"

Dante breathed heavily, trying to control his emotions as he gave a good kick to his desk, creating a large crack down the middle. He would have to put a poster over that now…

"Mr. Speis, we know you're very upset but there was nothing we could do," Trish said calmly, taking Dante's violent antics as nothing new. "She bought you fair and square…at a helluva price the school can't refuse."

"Hmph!" He threw himself into his chair and went into a thinking position. How the hell was he going to get out of this one? Who knows what that girl would do to him and Nero because no one was legally insane unless they buy a pair of lowly paid teachers for a thousand damn dollars.

"You should just deal with it. Hey, you may even get to know Mr. Lanstor in a 'different' light. Oh wait, you already do!" Mary cracked and soon found herself and Trish thrown out of the room into the hallway.

"I don't have time to deal with your crap! See you tomorrow morning!" Dante slammed the door in their faces and locked the door behind him.

"Shoot, I'm so glad I'm gay, I don't think I'd be able to handle a bitchy straight guy like Mr. Speis," Mary huffed.

"Who said anything about Mr. Speis being straight anymore?" Trish said as she grinned widely. They both ran away giggling when they heard Dante open the door to throw his world globe at them.

--

_Ring. Ring!_

"Yes? Speis residence?"

"Hey, Vergil! How are you doing?!" Dante exclaimed happily.

_-CLICK_

"Verg?"

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"What is it now, Dante," Vergil said through gritted teeth. He ran a hand through his hair that was identical to Dante's own, making it stand up on its ends.

"Oh what's with that tone? Can't a brother call another brother to say hi?"

"Cut the bullshit and tell me what you want."

Dante did a fake gasp and said hurtfully, "Aw, Verg, I'm hurt. After all the things we've been through and this is how you treat me? I just wanted to ask if you could go on a…date."

_-CLICK_

_Ring! Ring! Ri-_

"The last time I went on a date set up by _you_, I ended up in Wisconsin with only my pants and a shirt saying 'My boyfriend is _**bigger**_ than yours'. "

Dante stiffened his laughter the best that he could. "Come on, Vergil, we were young and pretty drunk-"

"-that's why I'm not going on your little date," Vergil cut his twin off.

"Okay, well, what if I'm not there?"

"….keep going."

"_You see, I have to go on a double date with this one guy due to the teacher auction that this rich brat bought me and that guy in and I was wondering if you could act as me in my place. Ya know, the whole twin switching th-"_

Vergil ripped the phone cord out and was greeted with peace and quiet for the rest of the day.

--

"Oh Nero, I'm sure it's not that bad." Kyrie tried to reassure him but he continued to grumble curse words under his breath.

"I was bought…like a piece of meat or…" he shuddered at the thought. It would have been an insult if he got bought for twenty dollars but still…now he had to hang out with a horny teenager and the son of a bi-

"I know! But still-! Neroooo!" Kyrie was trying to pull the math teacher out from under his desk.

"Leave me alone!" he groaned, sounding childish.

"Stop this, you're a grown man!" the brunette sighed. Nero slowly came out from his hiding spot, realizing that he wasn't acting his age. He didn't want to prove the jerk of a Government teacher right. She took his hand gingerly into her small ones and began to rub her hand over his in a comforting motion. "There, there…now, when did Principal Randoff say Miss Royal is going to take you and Mr. Speis out?"

"Tomorrow night," Nero grumbled and enjoyed the sweet gesture.

"Well then, what are you going to wear?"

Ms. Windill felt Nero tense up slightly. She saw a flash of embarrassment in his eyes before he looked away.

"I don't really…er have clothes that are meant for going out."

"Nonsense!" She said with a wave in the air. "I'm sure we'll find something! By tomorrow, you'll be 10 times good looking than you are now!"

Nero wasn't sure if he should take the last statement as a compliment or not but knowing the biology teacher only having good intentions, he smiled to show that he was agreeing with her. "…okay."

--

Get ready for the next chapter coming soon!

Love it? Hate it? Please review! I enjoy them! :)


	4. Chapter 4

YES! Finally the special date or event or whatever the heck you call it is HERE! I hope you guys like it! Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Devil May Cry characters or George Clooney. Only Jerry! She's miiiiiinnnnneeee!

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Buy me! Ch. 4: …but if you hate PE, then there's always Chemistry, it's a pretty 'passionate' subject…

"Oh my gosh, Mr. Speis, you look _amazing!"_ Patty squealed in joy along side with three other girls who were sitting in her sleek black Mercedes-Benz. Dante was actually glad that they didn't have to take his crappy car. He wore a red wine colored jacket that was over a tight black shirt and also a pair of casual ebony colored pants. His hair was in its normal state and he forgot to shave once again but it didn't seem like the girls took much notice to it. They just drunk in what they saw before them. A volcano ready to erupt under the hottest nights. He squeezed into the back seat, making sure not to get close to the girls so that they could 'accidentally' bump into him. The girls, he recognized as Lucia and Beryl, the two redheads in his 2nd period Government class, were whispering between each other. The silver haired man sadly heard all of it which obviously involved him and-

"-Mr. Lanstor! Patty, doesn't he live pretty far?" the girl in the shotgun seat who Dante learned was Jerry, a girl in AP Government (curse her), asked. It snapped Dante out of his thoughts. She began to tie her long black hair up with a large glittering red butterfly clip. Pfft. Girls and their butterflies.

"No prob! He said he was going to meet us at the restaurant! Okay girls and, of course, _Mr. Speis_," the blonde teen emphasized his name with affection which Dante mentally shuddered at. She step on the acceleration and the car zoomed faster than the road runner in the Wild E. Coyote cartoons.

--

Dante could have sworn his hair transformed into Vergil's during the 75 miles an hour drive on regular streets. Patty should have gotten a ticket but she came to the fancy restaurant with no problems. How come he never had that kind of luck in driving? He got a ticket for going 35 in a 30 speed limit zone once! Damn his red car…

"We're here!" She said in a sing song voice. When they got out of the car, Dante almost rolled his eyes George Clooney style. Why was it that kids, especially girls, now a days wanted to grow up so fast? Three of the girls, including Patty, had on mini and when Dante said mini, he meant_mini_ skirts or those ugly potato bags you called a 'dress.' Ugh. Actually, Jerry seemed to be wearing the only normal kind of clothes but when he noticed the low cut hot pink blouse, it made the teacher take the word 'normal' back.

When the gang stepped into the restaurant (who called a restaurant "Mustard??"), Dante immediately spotted the other silver haired man sitting in a booth section.

Holy. Shit.

"Mooooooooooeeeeee!" Lucia was the first to do the "moe" squeal and the rest of the girls went in sync with her. They didn't care if the other people at the restaurant were staring and neither did Dante give a damn since he was too busy staring at the math teacher…

..…DAMN!

It was like Beauty and the Geek, the part where the Beauties transformed their Geeks into decent looking men but Nero was more than those guys.

He was drop dead gorgeous and if Dante was gay (cough), he would throw the younger man down and do unmentionable things to him right then and there in front of everyone on the dinner table. The glasses were no where to be seen on Nero's delicate pale face and his hair was gelled down for spiky ends, giving an almost scene style look. Away was the boring one colored ties and buttoned up long sleeve shirts. Here to stay was a midnight blue zip up denim jacket covering over a shirt with a beautiful royal lion design on the front. Dante didn't want to know what kind of pants Nero was wearing for fear he would go-

Wait

….what..

…the…

…HELL??

"You look amazing, Mr. Lanstor," Patty said breathlessly. Her blue eyes seemed to shine brightly at Nero as she and the rest of the girls sat down around him. Dante gave a wordless nod hello as Nero returned it. They quickly made their orders as the waiter set down a basket of bread. The girls had swarmed Nero with questions and positive comments on his look, pretty much labeling Dante as "old news." He was too busy to notice as he was getting lost in his thoughts again.

Who knew the kid could look so damn good? Of course, Dante wasn't going to admit it out loud so it was okay to say it's a fact as long as he kept it to himself. But it wasn't as though he was actually _swinging_ that way. Seriously, can't a man say another man looked nice without being gay? Okay, so it was pretty gay. Even Dante himself had made fun of his drinking buddies for saying stuff like that (when they were drunk, duh). But come on, Dante, the womanizer (he calls himself), is straight out _straight, _damn it! He was as straight as …as…George Clooney! Yeah!

…..no, for the love of anything, not him again!

Okay, so Dante had no idea but he knew himself that he was heterosexual and had no feelings for Nero whatsoever. They fight like it was a daily chore and people who fight never get along, let alone get into a relationship! Right?!

….

….okay. Scratch that. He watched plenty of pornographies with storylines like that and it always had a "happy" ending.

He began to steal glances at Nero, trying to convince himself that he was definitely not attracted to him but it was no use: The way the young man's eyes seemed to glow a winter morning was something Dante could get use to. Although he has to look as his own eyes everyday in the bathroom mirror and they were the same exact color as Nero's own pools, Nero had a different personality to match with his eyes. They honed a soul not similar to Dante's own. All of a sudden Nero broke into a smile. It was a definite first for the Government teacher to see. Sure he had seen grins and smirks when the other man thought he got the upper hand in a fight but this was different. It was a real smile.

"…orphanage isn't what people think of it to be. Well, the one I came from wasn't bad."

"When were you finally adopted, Mr. Lanstor?" Beryl asked solemnly as she nibbled on her salad.

"Hmm, I believe when I was five," Nero said with a thoughtful look on his face.

"When did you get into math?" Patty piped up. "I'm sorry but I can't really see a love for it. I find it too boring."

Instead of taking it as an insult, Nero responded, "Well it's not for everyone but I always had a knack for it. I enjoy problem solving. It's like trying to answer questions of life, I suppose."

"That's so deep," Jerry remarked in awe.

"Oh, Mr. Speis, you haven't touched your food at all!" Lucia noted.

"Hm? Oh, right." Dante grabbed a slice of his Hawaiian pizza and took a bite.

"That's so strange…" Patty mumbled.

"Hm? What is?" Nero asked curiously.

"You two…you're not fighting…"

--

When the young blonde made the statement, Nero realized that she was right. Dante simply shrugged his shoulders and began taking bigger bites out of his meal. The girls began to focus on him, allowing Nero his turn to his own thoughts.

Is Dante finally acting his age or is he planning something? Nah. The vibes don't feel that way to Nero. He watched the older man's body language, trying to use the psychology skills he learned in college. Instead, he noticed how Dante's biceps seem to bulge from his red jacket's arms and how his eyes seem to curve whenever he was grinning. The girls must have made a joke or something of the sort. It made Nero feel a little irritated that they were able to make Dante laugh so easily. Huh? Since when did he care about Dante? Nero brushed it off and tried focusing on his meal. Sadly, it wasn't working at all and it didn't hurt to blame that the spaghetti was a bit tasteless. It didn't even come close to the taste of Dante's lips-

THUNK!

"Mr. Lanstor, are you okay?!" Patty asked concern fully and all eyes turned their attention to him. Nero didn't notice that he had jumped in his seat due to the last thought and hit his knee on the table, causing the commotion.

"Uh, yes. I'm fine," he said in embarrassment. He cast a quick glance at Dante who was watching him carefully. "Um, excuse me, I need to use the lavatory." Lucia and Beryl moved out of the way in order for Nero to step out.

"Um, oh my, it's so hot in here!" Beryl suddenly exclaimed and started to fan herself. "Lucia, Patty, do you mind if you step outside with me?" Without another word, the two girls slipped out of their seats and made a dash for the door, leaving Jerry and Dante alone.

"Lemme guess, you need to go powder your nose?" Dante said sarcastically to the AP Government student but she shook her head.

"No, I'm good thank you, Mr. Speis. But now that we're alone, I was meaning to ask you: Are the rumors about you and Mr. Lanstor true?"

"Oh, not that crap again," the silver haired man sighed in exasperation.

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Nah, it's fine. At least you're asking in private instead of doing that blurt out in front of everyone thing people seem to be doing lately," he reassured her. "But no. There's absolutely nothing between us. Everything you've heard is all accidents that lead to this trouble."

"Oh, well, that's a shame," she said almost disappointedly.

Dante's brow was raised slightly. "Why's that? You were expecting us to get into a closet and boink like horny rabbits?"

"Well yes!" She blurted happily and then Dante was picturing himself doing an anime fall. He couldn't believe women sometimes. "But, please don't get mad. I just…see something between you two. I guess, 'chemistry' would be the right word. Patty, Beryl, Lucia, and I do and most likely all the girls at Rowland." She closed her jade colored eyes as though she was bracing herself for a hit or in Dante's case in doing, a good yell in the ear.

But it never came. She opened one eye nervously and saw him scratch his head.

"You know what? I'm not really sure anymore…" he mumbled.

"Wha-"

"Sorry I took so long. There was a line," Nero explained as he popped out of nowhere.

"We're back!" the girls appeared from behind him.

"Time to pay up, Mr. Lanstor and Mr. Speis, cuz we got a great place to go next!" Patty said slyly. Oh no…a smirk. A smirk on a woman is more dangerous than one on Dante any day.

--

Sooooo close to the end! Now you guys know what to do -hints for the review button-

Love it? Hate it? Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Because I love my fans and your lovely reviews, here's the next installment to Buy Me! Warning: YAOI! Boyxboy love + You may get nose bleeds!:P

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry characters, Capcom does. But I own Jerry! That's it!

Ch. 5: …or how about Dance where you can move to the beat…

Dante didn't believe for a second that Patty and the girls were all twenty one and older. He also didn't believe that the bouncer at the door would believe it. But he did and allowed them, Dante, and Nero into the night club: Lake of Fire. The club was established only a year ago and became the best one in town. Even Dante couldn't get into the place without having to wait in line and usually he would quit at the first ten minutes of waiting.

The girls immediately screamed excitedly over the booming music. Lucia and Beryl grabbed Nero by the arms, dragging him straight to the dance floor while Jerry and Patty did the same with Dante. The floor was filled with many bodies dancing to the beat while flashing red lights of different shades reflected off dark mirrors dangling from the ceiling, giving a fiery look. Women and men in revealing black and red costumes were in gothic cages on the walls, moving slowly to represent pain in Hell and seductively for the sin Lust. The DJ even had giant headphones that looked like black horns and was controlling the whole club with the songs.

Dante was definitely impressed. He decided to have fun with it and his body became one with the music. The girls gave cheers and wolf whistles as they themselves began to dance. The Government teacher looked over to where Nero and the other girls were. Even among the many people, he could still find the other silver haired man who was currently stiff as a board while Lucia and Beryl were grinding on each other. They stopped for a moment to urge Nero to dance but he just smiled sheepishly and shook his head. The redheads looked disappointed but they smiled reassuringly at him and continued to dance. All of a sudden, Nero began to weave through the bodies off the dance floor. Dante couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed as well and slowly began making his way toward the direction Nero went.

--

Nero couldn't stand it. He thought he was just going to take the girls out to eat and then go home. He could have been reading a book or be catching up on grading tests but no. He was stuck at a club were the music was louder than the speakers that made announcements and the people were as rude and perverted as the high school students. Someone had already pinched his butt for crying out loud!

He rubbed at his eyes, getting irritated at the feeling of the contacts and the people that were making out right in front of him. Do these people have any decency? Some women and men actually stopped kissing or talking just to stare at him. A woman gave him the elevator eyes which he averted away from and a man wearing an outfit of complete leather licked his lips. Ugh. He spotted an empty chair at the bar and quickly made his way over. There were two bartenders doing tricks while preparing the drinks with flames sprouting from the rims. One was a woman who looked like she was in her late 30s with white (natural color perhaps?) wavy hair, blowing a whistle that went in sync with the other bartender's tricks. The other was a man who sported a beer belly but his arms were built due to what seemed like years of hard labor. He was juggling shot glasses and lining them up in a perfectly straight line in front of drinkers next to Nero. The woman bartender did one swish of a bottle over the shot glasses and, to Nero's surprise, not a drop was spilled on the hard wood table. Everyone around the bar clapped in amazement. When the show was over, the man spotted Nero and walked over to take his order.

"Hey there, name's Grue, what will it be?" He asked in a gruff but welcoming tone.

"Um, what do you have?" Nero asked uneasily. He never ordered a bar drink before in his entire life.

"Hmm. New comer, eh?" Grue mumbled under his breath but he sprouted a satisfied smirk. "_HEY GOLDSTEIN! WE GOT A NEWCOMER!!"_

"Eh? What's that?!" the woman bartender said over the people taking orders.

"Check your hearing, old lady-" Grue ducked when a shot glass was flung at him and broke when it came in contact with the wall. Nero almost fell out of his seat.

"You're only a damn three years my junior, Grue!" she exclaimed, shaking a dirty rag at the other bartender. Grue just grinned back.

"Hey, we got a new drinker here, Goldstein, you know what to do," he said to her and suddenly she seemed to have forgotten the "old lady" remark.

"So kid, what's your name?"

"Er…Nero.."

"Well, well, Nero, I suggest you take your first shots in…_the RIVER SHOTS!!"_

The moment Goldstein said "River Shots," the people around the bar all chanted "River Shots!" as though they were in a fraternity.

Suddenly, people grabbed his shoulders and pinned him on the bar table. Nero tried fighting back but soon they began to drag him across the shiny wood. A bottle of alcohol was poured down on him and someone grabbed the collar of his shirt to hoist his head up to keep him from choking. As he was begin dragged, more bottled drinks were being poured down into his mouth, one by one but so fast that he couldn't see what he was drinking. Nero tried to not swallow any of it but Grue made sure to keep his mouth open by tickling him and running down the bar to catch up. The math teacher basically laughed, coughed, and swallowed as he struggled to be let go.

Nero suddenly felt his collar be let go and his body stopped moving. Three bottles of different drinks were poured down into his mouth at the same time for one moment and then disappeared. Nero blinked, unsure of what had happen but felt really….

…good. He sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning uncontrollably. The crowd and the bartenders cheered wildly as Nero shouted, "Gimme another shot!"

--

This really was Hell. Dante was close to where Nero was but before he could talk to him, the whole bar area burst into strange chanting and dragged him on the table. They poured drinks on him and before long, it was over. The younger man was downing the drinks with his new found buddies. Nero downed a shot glass and then, as though he felt the Government teacher's presence, turned to where Dante was standing and grinned ear to ear.

"Hey, Dante, wazz up?!" He slurred, holding up his empty glass.

"What got into you, kid?!" Dante said dumbfounded.

"Have you tried these? I swear, they are soooooooo like.._awesome!"_ He said as he got off the bar table. Before Nero could fall over, Dante ran over to catch the other man before he came face to face with the floor.

"How many shots have you taken?!"

"Um….hmmm. Thiiisss many?" Nero drunkenly held up ten fingers and then flashed another set of ten fingers.

"Oh no, that's it, you're smashed-"

"Don't be an old man, old man!" Nero got up and with no effort, pushed Dante off him. "I'm friggin' twenty five…I can handle my liquor, damn it! I'm no damn kid!!"

"Well, you're acting like one, _kid_!" Dante shouted back.

The DJ's voice boomed through the speakers, _"Welcome to Hell, my damned souls! Now which one of you wants to perform for us right here on stage?! Now don't be shy! Guy or girl will do!" _The devil horned DJ moved over to present a stage that Dante thought looked vaguely familiar to Love Planet. Right in the center was the stripper pole and lights glowing brightly all around. Yup! It was a cheap rip off.

"Hmph! I'll show you, old man! _**HEY! DJ! RIGHT HERE!" **_Nero called out and raised his hand in the air. The dancers shouted in enthusiasm, parting away as though Nero was Moses and they were the Red Sea. He nimbly climbed on the stage, looking as though he hasn't drunk a drop of alcohol all night. A light shined on him and the DJ started the music with heavy beats. Nero began to lightly bob his head to the beat and when he caught the right one, he grabbed on to the pole and swung himself with ease, doing a complete 360, swinging his legs into the air. The crowd went wild and Dante's blue eyes were taking in the full scene as he was standing in his spot dumbly. The math teacher stroked the pole in a downward motion as he sunk to his knees, bucking his hips to the rhythm.

Then, right on cue with the chorus, he stripped off his jacket and threw it into the crowd where everyone was making a grab for it. Nero continued to dance as the light was moving with him. For someone so drunk, it amazed Dante that Nero was moving like he had been dancing all his life. Just a minute ago it was like Nero was a middle school student at his first dance!

The next move almost made everyone in the club faint. Nero got on the pole and began working it. Shit, he was working it better than Tila Tequila! It was as though he was…gulp. He dropped back down and then in a somersault, he pulled off his shirt, showing his taunt muscles and toned abdomen. The light began to glisten off his body as he ran his hands over himself.

Dante was completely awestruck. But he snapped out of it when he realized that Nero was looking straight at him. As though he was under a trance, Dante maneuvered his way through the people and at the edge of the stage, he stood looking up to Nero. The younger man grinned, licking his lips and pulled Dante up. The crowd seemed to enjoy Dante's presence because they broke into more shouts of joy and excitement. Dante didn't want to start dancing and Nero seemed to sense it so he called out, "Hey DJ! A chair please!"

One of the caged women came on to the stage and placed a chair in the center. Nero pressed his fingertips on Dante's chest and pushed him into the chair. He began to stroke the pole and smirked. It was as though the people weren't there and it was just the two of them with Nero giving the other a private show. Nero was moving over Dante, giving the older man a lap dance that threw the crowd into admiring the silver haired men. He slid off Dante's jacket and it slumped to the floor. His fingers roamed all over the Government teacher's chest, feeling him through the black fabric. Dante moved into the touch and felt himself become aroused.

Nero kept his back to the crowd as his eyes locked with Dante's. It felt like land never existed yet with only sky staring at sea and vice versa. It also felt like another stare down between the two but this time, it made them connect on a higher level. When the music was over, the whole bar burst into applaud and screamed for more. Dante couldn't hear the people even though they were loud enough to wake the dead. Nero leaned down and sealed the small space between them. Both their eyes closed away to enjoy the feeling of the other's lips. Whistling of all kinds, including comments like "Yeah BABY!" were heard from all over. Dante wrapped his arms around Nero's midsection, bringing the other closer.

"OH MY GOOOOODDDDDD!! Lucia shrieked in joy as Beryl and her were jumping up and down, staring at their teachers making out on stage before them.

"So….I take it that it's a mission accomplish?" Jerry said to Patty who was still watching the action.

"Yup!" The blonde chirped happily and out of no where, pulled out a digital camera. "And _this_ will be the perfect memory…and blackmail!"

Before Patty could turn on her camera, it was swiped out of her pink manicured hands.

"What the-HEY!"

"Naughty little Patty, didn't your mom ever teach you any manners?" The voice belonged to no one other than Mary who smirked knowingly.

"Yo-you two!" Patty growled.

"Trish and Mary, thank you very much," the more developed blonde corrected.

While Mary was playing the old bullying game with Patty, Dante broke away from the kiss before it got too heated up. With ease, he threw Nero over his shoulder and reached into the other's jean pockets, pulling out a set of car keys. In the blink of an eye, Dante disappeared with Nero and they weren't seen for the rest of the night.

--

Note: Grue and Goldstein are characters from DMC novel 1.

So…Love it? Hate it? Please REVIEW lots this time!


	6. Chapter 6

And here it is! The final chapter! I know some people wanted lemon and male boinking but you gotta remember, this is a T rated fanfic so I can't give it to ya. BUT I'm not going to disappoint my fans and say it's over. I'll come up with a special chapter later on so enjoy this for now and have a wonderful life! Please check my profile some time later this month to read the lemon, k? Gah, now I gotta sign up with livejournal xP

Disclaimer: I don't own the Devil May Cry characters.

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Ch. 6: …that's it, I quit! You kids can't make up your damn minds! Go take Service class or something!

Dante drove Nero and himself back to his apartment around midnight. No one would have expected it but Dante had snuck off a bit after paying the check with Nero at the restaurant. He called Mary and Trish while they were about to watch a movie and agreed (with regaining their deal) to come down to the club. They came to make sure that the girls go home safe and prevent them from getting any sort of "upper hand." Dante thought he would get shit faced and the girls would end up getting evidence of that. Thank goodness he thought ahead because any evidence of him and Nero making out were to all of a sudden be used against them…

….Dante didn't even want to think of it.

"Negh, are those girls gone yet?" the younger man in the shot gun asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"Yup! We're home free!" Dante said. "At least, at my place since you're too drunk to-wait, what the hell?! Were you faking it?!"

"You think I'd get shit faced after a few shots? Please…" Nero said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Damn, I really liked that jacket and shirt too…"

"Bu-but…you can't dance!"

"Hey, even math geeks need a break to do _something_ fun. I took up break dancing when I was seventeen. Heh, never thought I could still do it."

"You're a damn good liar, punk!" the older man laughed as he slapped his forehead. He pulled Nero's car into his extra parking space next to his beat up red car. It seemed to sit glumly next to Nero's slightly new one. When Dante turned off the engine, Nero didn't make a move to get out of the vehicle so Dante stayed with him. It reminded him of his first time at Crescent Peak in his dad's car. He had waited for his high school fling to make a move or he himself to do it before getting it on.

"Um…about tonight-" Nero began uneasily. "That…"

"Stop. No need to explain." Dante sighed. "Look, I was thinking about it and when I saw you on stage, I knew I wanted to..um.." He placed the tips of his index fingers together to show what he wanted. "..yeah."

"Oh, and none of this?" Nero asked cheekily, making his right hand into a circle and placed his left index finger inside, making fast movements in and out.

"Don't make it any damn harder than it already is!"

"Haha! The great Dante, getting all embarrassed! That's a first!"

"You take a too many spins on that pole, kid?"

"Okay okay," Nero put his hands up in defense and smiled. "So…what's the next step from here?"

"Well, this is where I usually whip out the protection, we do a bit of foreplay action, and then, I screw your brains out," Dante said with ease, causing Nero to jaw drop. "And since you're half way with the clothes, this will make things a lot easier for me."

"Whoa! WHOA! We're not gonna-I mean, I know we like each other and all but-hold on minute-!"

"Hah!" Dante gave Nero his trademark grin and poked him in the cheek. "Gotcha!"

"That's not funny!" Nero growled in frustration. "I really thought you were going to be my fi- I mean, that we were going to-"

"What, say that again?"

"That we were going to-"

"No! That I was going to be your….first?"

Nero licked his lips and looked away. After five seconds, the information registered in Dante's head and he burst out laughing. He didn't stop until he was crying.

"Damn it! That's enough!"

"Oh…haha, sorry. It's just. Wow. Virgin huh?" Dante liked the taste of the innocent word when it rolled off his tongue.

"Yeah….just had some…um..oral on me once but…"

"Never got your wang in an American pie, got it."

"What the Hell?!"

"Nevermind, heh. That's a good thing then…" Dante opened his side of the car and ran over to Nero's. He took Nero's hand into his and got him out. "…means I don't have to deal with crazy ass exes. Can't say the same for me though, haha!"

_**One month later…**_

"Come on, Mr. Speis, admit it, you're going to miss us!"

"Blah, good riddance of you, Mary! Hey, Trish, got your speech ready for graduation tomorrow?"

The blonde valedictorian gave a satisfied nod. "Yup, hopefully it won't put anyone to sleep like how last year's valedictorian did."

"Oh! It's time to rehearse again! Bye, Mr. Speis, see you at 4:00 PM tomorrow, and DON'T. BE. LATE." Mary elaborated.

As the girls made their way out of the classroom, they stopped for a moment to greet Mr. Lanstor hello. He was leaning on the door with his armed crossed and a smile graced his defined features. Dante smirked at the sight of Nero, missing the dorky glasses that use to have a place on his lover's face. He also missed the sight of Nero limping slightly for a week, answering the question of the two girls passing notes in Dante's class.

"What's so funny?" the younger man inquired when he noticed Dante sniggering. He closed the door, locking it this time to make sure no one would run in on them again.

"Don't worry about it," Dante said dismissively. "How was grading papers for your kids?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Nero responded sourly, sitting himself on the edge of Dante's desk. "It was a miracle that all my seniors passed but the underclassmen needs to step it up a bit."

"Heh, well, can you blame them? You're so damn hot that there's no way they can focus. I bet they even drew parabolas in the shape of your-"

"Dante!"

"Kidding!"

"Not funny!" Nero exclaimed. He soon lost all feelings of hostility when Dante got up from his seat to wrap his arms around him from behind.

"Sorry, babe. Forgive me?" Dante gave him an irresistible look.

"You know I always do." Nero added, "Sadly."

"What?!"

Nero turned around and kissed Dante full on the lips. It was to shut the other up but it was also for the electrifying and sensual feeling he always got when they touched. Nero's blue eyes flashed open when he felt Dante's hand creep down his lower backside. He struggled to pull away but the Government teacher had him secured in his place. Nero craned his neck to the side, gasping for air.

"D-Dante! Damn it, you horn dog, not here!"

"Well then, Nero baby," Dante purred, causing Nero's face to heat up. "I guess it's time we pay a visit to the janitor's closet again, right?"

THE END!!

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AND That's it kiddies! I'm thinking about doing a sequel...hmm. Maybe? I dunno. :)

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